A Tribute To My Lola

This morning after i blogged i got a call from my brother saying that my Lola has passed on. I couldn't describe the feeling i had inside me. Was i shocked? As i was speaking to my brother i really wasn't feeling the sadness until i hung up.

My lola who we call "Inang Mareng" was a great woman. Lived her life to the fullest. I wish i can just be as brave as her. She had witnessed every bumps and humps in the family. My Lola was a fighter.

I consider myself as one lucky grandchild. This is because me and my brothers are my grandparents' favorite. My lola would hide food for me because my other cousins would eat it. I know where she kept all the good cookies but not my cousins. She stored them in plastic wares and kept them inside a locked cabinet who she only had access to.

This cabinet contains all the baby pictures of her grandkids. Of course there is a picture of me there when i graduated from kindergarten and my mom was putting a ribbon on me. She kept all the silverwares in that cabinet. She would only take them out during parties and fiestas. Inang Mareng was a real woman.

My lola's favorite dish was "Paksiw na Isda". I remember one time when i was in the bus on my way to her house, i was so looking forward to eating my Lola's favorite dish. I made her so happy to let her know how i loved her Paksiw na Isda. Her eyes just brightened. I can still remember her smile.

At a very young age, i was left without a parent. My mom passed away when i was seven and my lola was just devastated. She tried her very best to take care of me. Inang Mareng wasn't a rich woman. She only had enough money to sustain her needs. At times she would dig into her purse to see if she has extra coins to spare so i can buy some chips from the store nearby. She would give me 2 pesos so i can ride the tricycle so that i wouldn't have to walk wherever i was heading. That's how much she loved me.

But since i had to go to school in Manila, i was separated from her. I would only see her at least twice a year. Every visit to her was so memorable to me. Every time i'd see her, she would give me a kiss with a sniff. Yes a kiss with a sniff. Her only way of saying how much she misses me. It breaks my heart to see my Lola cry when we part ways because i had to go back to Manila. She cries most of the time and she'd be looking by the window until i'm finally gone and out of sight.

One time i had a very interesting conversation with her. She told me all about their struggles during the Japanese period and how she and my lolo started from scratch and slowly built the house. She told me in details how good of a daughter my mom was and how she cared for them. No wonder mom was a favorite. I will never forget that day when we just both sat at the table and bonded together. I wish i could have spent more time with her. That day also, she gave me pictures of my mom when she was still young. This is how much we both miss her. Everytime i look at my lola's face, i see my mom's reflection in her. They have the same eyes and the same smile. Now, i won't even see a glimpse of that anymore.

Three years ago was when i last saw her. It was a great reunion. Lola and her favorite grandkid. I spent some time with her but then, i had to say goodbye to her again because i was heading back to the States. I could see the sadness in her face and the tears in her eyes. But i had to be strong for her, i didn't want my lola to feel sad and to cry. She's shed so much tears already over the years and she doesn't deserve to be sad. So i said to her: "wag kang mag alala magkikita tayo ulit" (Don't worry we'll see each other again) But now i realize, I'll never get to see her again.

Inang, i'll miss you a lot. You'll always remain in my heart forever and your memories will linger on. I LOVE YOU!