When things just don't seem right....

If there is anything that matters to me most, that would be my family. But it would be kind of hard to live with two sets of families with two different cultures. One totally extreme of the other. Having 4 brothers and no sisters would be another side of the story.

I'm just lucky that God always gives me options. He always provides for a fallback. But i seem to always choose the path that is not too easy. I always like to be challenged. In this way, i have come to know more to deal with life. To this point in time i am still learning. I still complain and still fret over things. Many times i feel the unworthiness of the blessings i have been given only because i feel i haven't put my complete trust in Him yet. But He continues to open my eyes and never fails to amaze me.

This maybe one of those days where you just want to be alone and rethink your life. And i continue to think and think up to now whether or not i have made the right decision. Maybe i did. But in one way or another i feel very proud of myself for having done this but on the other side it saddens me that i have failed to put myself in the plan.

I see myself in a battlefield right now. Armed with nothing but faith. Struggling to fight. So far, i've won some. It just scares me that there will be more battles to come. I am dreading right now. I just hope that i will have enough energy to fight once more.