Thursday, February 23, 2006

I have a really bad headache now. The exhaustion of moving and practicing is slowly catching up on me. I only have a simple wish now, to get that much needed sleep. But despite this fact, i still manage to smile for i am happy. I feel i made a good decision of moving, first time i ever felt so good in a very long time. I needed to boost my self esteem. I wouldn't let exhaustion take away the inner peace and happiness i have within. The headache will go away soon and i will be happier.

Thank God for a great family and a good brother. I feel very lucky now.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

To live each day is a grace that comes from God. Sometimes our day doesn't seem to cooperate with us but each day should be lived for the greater glory of the Lord. It is an inevitable fact in our human nature that we measure happiness far different from how our God perceives it.

The struggle we have each day is far from the pain that the Lord endured in the cross. We think we have so much to bear but the cross bears everything we all have to bear put together. Imagine the Lord carrying all of our crosses. Wouldn't it be too much for us to complain that we can no longer bear ours?

For the past months, i have been thru rough roads. But the roads have made me become a better person. I have seen the power of God work in me. Oh, it was marvelous. The feeling was awesome. And i can never forget the feeling of total self-giving for the Lord.

Days before my surgery, i have prepared myself to give way to the will of God. It was uncertain wether the Lord will give me another chance to live or if the Lord was taking away the life he let me borrow. But i was not afraid to go because i knew that if i go, i will be seeing the one that created me. Oh, how marvelous that feeling was. I felt the love of God flowing in my veins and as if that was the only thing that was keeping me alive and sure enough, it was.

As i go thru recovery, i ask the Lord, WHY? I feel the unworthiness to be given so much love and care. But the Lord cares anyway for he is meek and mild. He won't let anything go wrong with us for we are His creation. How humbling it is to think that the arms of God are always waiting for us. He is always there waiting for us to come back to Him.