When things just don't seem right....

If there is anything that matters to me most, that would be my family. But it would be kind of hard to live with two sets of families with two different cultures. One totally extreme of the other. Having 4 brothers and no sisters would be another side of the story.

I'm just lucky that God always gives me options. He always provides for a fallback. But i seem to always choose the path that is not too easy. I always like to be challenged. In this way, i have come to know more to deal with life. To this point in time i am still learning. I still complain and still fret over things. Many times i feel the unworthiness of the blessings i have been given only because i feel i haven't put my complete trust in Him yet. But He continues to open my eyes and never fails to amaze me.

This maybe one of those days where you just want to be alone and rethink your life. And i continue to think and think up to now whether or not i have made the right decision. Maybe i did. But in one way or another i feel very proud of myself for having done this but on the other side it saddens me that i have failed to put myself in the plan.

I see myself in a battlefield right now. Armed with nothing but faith. Struggling to fight. So far, i've won some. It just scares me that there will be more battles to come. I am dreading right now. I just hope that i will have enough energy to fight once more.

Monday Insight

Quoted from today's Gospel:

“I have told you this so that you may not fall away.
They will expel you from the synagogues;
in fact, the hour is coming when everyone who kills you
will think he is offering worship to God.
They will do this because they have not known either the Father or me.
I have told you this so that when their hour comes
you may remember that I told you.

I had to read this line 3 times this morning. I had this one question in my head. Could Jesus be referring to the the terrorists who kill for the sake of Allah? That just gave me chills. That could have been what Jesus was referring to or maybe there is something else to come that we do not know of.

Amazingly, i don't always read the bible. Today i felt the need to do so. I was feeling weak and needed some spiritual nourishment so i decided that i go online and read today's gospel. Usually there is a personal message hidden for me in the gospel, the reason why i go and read. And sure enough, i was right.

Just thought i'd share. Cheers to y'all!

TGIF

I hope everybody's having a blast. Memorial weekend is almost here and i'm sure most of us are anticipating 3 days of rest and vacation. Can't wait for the annual Huntington beach party hahaha This year's theme is: HB2: The Revenge of Joel. If you were there last year, you sure know what i'm talkin about.

Contrary to my previous entries, i'm feeling ecstatic at the moment. Oh wow, that's something new! Fridays really make me happy. I can't explain. I guess when you say "Fridays really make me happy" that is more of a rhetoric statement. But it is really. Don't you agree? hehe

Last Friday though was different. It was my turn to give the talk in the ongoing CLP. To show you how nervous i was, i only had to go to the bathroom THRICE before i went in front of all these people. I wasn't nervous about being in front of them, i was more nervous of the fact that i may not be able to give justice to what i was going to say or impart to them. When it was time to go there, the HS took care of everything for me. Everything was just flowing smoothly. What a sigh of relief after i finished my talk.

Do you ever feel unworthy sometimes of doing something you were tasked to do? I do. Sometimes i ask myself this question, "Why me?!" There are other people that are more qualified to do this. "But why me?!" If you pray hard enough, you will have the answer to that question.

Ate Shelley stayed with me for 3 days last week and i took her around. It was a lot of fun but was exhausting at the same time. I was tired to the bones. Her non stop shopping trips put me to the real test! hahaha I need to find a future wife who doesn't love shopping but i guess all girls do. Darn! Well, i just have to work hard enough so i can give my future wife the money to go to the mall and i can stay home! hahaha Don't get me wrong, i love to shop too but i only go to the mall when i know what i want to buy. I can't stroll around and do window shop. No! No! I'd go crazy. But for love, i will do it. hahaha We have yet to find if i can fulfill this promise.

What can be more fun than blogging at work? Perfect way to warm up the mind and put yourself in the mood for work. Well folks, i need to get goin. Will keep ya posted!